Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
