i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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