You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can I color on your dick again?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
