grandma shit on top of the toilet
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Randomize
