This is not my ceiling
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
