yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
