Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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