youre lurking in front of me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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