I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
