It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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