i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
