I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
