Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
