one two three fourrrrnication!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
