I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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