maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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