How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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