I just made out with a guy for $7.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
