Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
