Just fell off a train. Bad.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
