Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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