Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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