whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
