I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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