don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
