it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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