So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He? As in you personified your dick?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
