So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
