Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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