Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
