3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
