So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
