I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
