It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
