I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
