I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
