I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
