so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
