some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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