me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
