she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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