yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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