Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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