I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
50% drunk capacity currently
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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