Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
