Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
