This girl is more easily done than said...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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