I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
