Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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