I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
